Absolutely awesome. Great ride. Lots of gunfire. Lots of Johnny. haha Loved Marion Cottilard. And cute little David Wenham ditched his Gondor threads and went gangster!

Going again tomorrow with cousin. Nice to be at the East Warren again. Not as a worker, of course. :)

*will be replying to comments and all this weekend. hopefully.

Yeah, so this has been sitting for awhile. Finally got around to finishing it.

In the words of Deborah Wilson: "Hot, sweaty, monkey-love."

Title: Heat Wave
Prompt: heat wave
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, angst, language
Summary: With scorching hot temperatures, Tom and Doug find a way to beat the heat....or rather create more.

( Ice Cubes )

Michael Jackson....is dead. That's just....not possible. He can't be. I can't wrap my head around that. Michael Jackson, King of Pop, is dead.

Please someone say it's not true.....

Holy fucking hell. It's been two months since I've updated this fic!

Title: Cleansing (ch. 20)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug, Doug/OC, Fuller
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, angst, language
Summary: After having killed a teen, Doug tries to comfort his partner. Neither had any idea of the harsh consequences that were to come from Tom merely doing his job.
A/N: Hopefully, it won't take as long for the next chapter. Hopefully. By this time next week, hopefully I'll have my trusty laptop back too.

Link to chapter 19: here

( Chapter Twenty )

I'M GOING TO SEE GREEN DAY!!!! AUGUST 12TH!!!

My mom paid for the tickets as a birthday gift for me since my b-day's on the 7th. Fuck, I'm so excited!!! And Franz Ferdinand is opening for them, I believe! I was just thinking the other day that it would be cool to see them in concert.

Gonna be me and my momma out on the general admissions floor. Oh yeah. That's right. I'm takin' my momma. :)

START THE COUNTDOWN!!!

Dear Frank Arnold,

You are so right. If you were to do a dorm check right now, you would find porn in my room. Not in the form of Hustler or Playgirl magazine, but rather printed off artworks and manips of naked men with other men. Because that's how I roll around here.

Sincerely,
~S.M.

Dom DeLuise passed away. Age 75. He was freaking awesome. He totally kicked ass as the voice of Tiger in the "Fivel" movies.

He will be missed.

Graduation this Saturday. Bright and early in the morning. Will have a little get together at my dad's house later that day. Carly and David are coming down for the ceremony, which I'm really excited and happy for. Think we'll do Olive Garden. Shit balls, I've been craving that Italian for ages now.

Cleaned off all my posters and shit from the dorm walls. Looks really bare now. Apparently, they didn't do the dorm inspection they put up signs about today. What the fuck. Yeah, lame. I could still be looking at Tom Hanson's beautiful face, but noooo. They had to get everyone in a cleaning tizzy frenzy and then never even checked. Fuckers.

Finals start next Thursday. Wish they started sooner.

Box on Friday was just delightful! Psh, right. Every showing of Wolverine that night sold out. And then they decided to add an 11:30 show since we had been selling out so fast, so that pissed Amanda and me off. The last show would've been at 10:10, which would've meant that we could have been shift totaled and out of there by 10:45. Instead, it ended up being 11 for me since I won the coin toss on who got to leave early; poor Amanda had to stay and didn't get out of there until midnight, I imagine. Don't know if I want to go see it or not. Don't get me wrong; I love the X-Men triology, Hugh Jackman, and Wolverine - but I don't know if I want to watch a Wolverine-centric movie. And it doesn't have Famke Janssen (spelling?) in it as Phoenix, which is disappointing since she was smoking hot in the third one. :-D

Made a profile on Yahoo! Personals. Have a 7 day free trial. Got a girl interested in me. Like, the second day, we were already doing small interactions! Her name's Brandi. Think we're going to meet up next Saturday; yes, I know. Do so in a public place so if she's a psycho killer, people will notice a struggle. haha Thing is - she's 28, which is alright, but has 3 kids. I mean, damn. Guess I'll worry about that little tidbit later if we end up hitting it off well.

Laptop crapped out on me last week. Monitor backlight went out, I think. Can't see anything on the screen unless I flash a light on it and look real close. It sucks. I need it! It better be fixable! My dad's taking it to his DJ/computer guy friend to see if he can do anything for it. I hope so.

I'm busted ass broke. I need money. Crossing my fingers that I get that damn post office job. It's not fun being poor. :) Since I've taken off so many Fridays in a row at work - a couple here and there - my paychecks have been every four weeks and not very much. I crave the money.

Brandi just signed on to Yahoo messenger. Guess I'll see if she messages me. I never like being the one to message people; I'm always afraid that when I do, they won't really want to talk to me, you know? Like, not in the mood. That's why if I never message you, it's not because I don't want to talk to you (most of the time, haha), but just worried that you won't want to talk to me! XD

Working on a Tom/Doug oneshot. PWP pretty much. See if I can't get it posted later this week.

Still haven't sat down to watch Arizona Dream, and now I'm interested in finally watching Cry Baby. I've had that movie for several years now, and haven't bothered to watch it. Haven't been in the mood to sit my ass down and watch a movie lately. That must change.

Why is that such an awesome word?! Why is it so funny?! Why do I love saying it so much?! Jo was right, about what she told me freshman year of high school - makes your tongue tingle.

Well, recital is over. It went pretty well. I'm proud of myself, even if I did have a few mess ups. Actually improved the ending of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" because I completely blanked and tried to get on track but ended up playing random notes I knew were somewhere in the chord outline. It was pretty flawless up till that point! Pretty pleased with myself that I got it memorized by today and didn't have to use the music. Anna and Chris were amazing, as usual. Anna really blew me away with her singing. She is truly an angel. I swear to god. If they exist, she is one!

Friday was the wedding. Actually had to stand up there and be the Maid of Honor. Held David's ring until Carly took it to put it on his finger. As they were taking their vows, I was getting a bit choked up. Yeah, it was happy and everything, but I couldn't help thinking that she's so lucky. She found someone. Her first and only boyfriend and she's now married to him. And here I am - alone and feeling utterly unattractive and unwanted by the entire male and female population. It's hard. It's tough. Wears at ya a little. Everyone around you has someone and you don't. Everywhere I look, there are couples. I'm falling behind. I'm the ugly duckling; the problem child of my family. Hasn't really bothered me too much until now. Sister is married. She's married. There's not going to be any more times where it's just her and me. Or if there are, it won't be many. It's like I've lost a best friend.

I've got homework I should be doing, I'm sure, but I don't feel like it. I'll have time after Government to get Theory done. This week is going to be much less stressful than last week. Not much I have to worry about. And I'll finally be back at work on Friday after having two weeks off. New GM. Met him when I went to pick up my check Friday. His name is Craig; he seems nice. If he's not like managers Mike and Ben (from East), then I think I'll get along just fine with him. If I get that job at the Post Office I took the test for, I'm not sure if I'll stay at the OTW or not. Maybe just stay with my Friday nights to keep free movies and shit. At least until "Public Enemies" comes out, that way it'll be easier to snag the mylar and a poster. I call dibs on that shit already.

Three more weeks of school. Thank god.

Dad and Janel are pretty much all moved into their new house. Dad still has some shit of his to move. It's a nice place! Bi-level. Wood floors. Comfy. I like it. Now that he has a more spacious place, I might start staying over there every other weekend. I don't know. We'll see.

By the way, I need to rant about an author who's blatantly copying a fic of mine, but I'll save it for the next entry. This one's already gotten long, and I don't feel like getting myself all worked up in a tizzy at the moment.

*waves hand* Still here. Still around. Lurking around on my friends list, though not commenting much. Gotten bad about not updating whatsoever unless it's for a fic. Keep saying I'll do it, then don't follow through. Life....has been making me its bitch as of late. Month of April for real, yo. Everything happening this month. Like this upcoming weekend.

Blast it to hell.

Friday: Carly and David getting married. Driving to Emporia for little ceremony and reception. Carly Velasquez - how weird.
Saturday: Taking an assessment for a post office job that I hope I get. Reeeally hope I do.
Sunday: Sophomore recital at 7. Shit. Playing four pieces. Two other people in the program as well. Not looking forward to this at all.

Graduation is coming up; May 9th. Ready for it, even though I have to be back to take finals. How freaking lame. Went to WSU today to see about enrollment. Found out what classes I need to take. Ass load of music courses. Going the way of music education - instrument education to be more specific. Like an orchestra teacher, but I have no idea if I want to teach or not yet. Maybe taking a couple of summer courses to get them knocked out of the way instead of taking them in fall. Gen. Psych and a statistics class. Ew. And the campus - it's like its own little town. So huge. I'm gonna get lost, I know it.

Presentation for Physical Science due tomorrow. Have it done, just not ready to give it. Haven't practiced it, run through it. Have a government project due Friday. Haven't even started on it. Fucking weak. I'm just so stressed out this week! Want to scream.

And if school wasn't "grinding my gears" enough, my personal life is. Told Carly I feel so lonely cause I don't have anybody. I want somebody. Want that special connection with someone. Everyone around me either has someone or has had a relationship in the past. Doesn't help that I've been so sexually charged as of late.

"A little sexual frustration combined with lack of motivation and a loss of concentration; I've got a strange disease."

Also feel like I'm losing friends. Not like, not being friends anymore, but....getting distant. Friends who I love and trust seem to be slipping through my fingers. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'll just be annoying them if I send a message/comment/whatever. Have them have a reaction of something like "Oh, well....we're not really friends anymore. Or good friends, I suppose. I thought you knew that since we hadn't talked for awhile."

On the outside looking in. There goes life. St. Minny just stays the same, rooted to the spot, watching it all go by.

PS - I'm fucking terrified of bugs. More specifically, anything that stings. Yes, I get paralyzed with fear whenever I see a wasp or bee. I almost cry. Don't tell me I'm acting like a baby; I seriously seize up and need someone to physically guide me to my destination because I won't move. "Oh, they won't hurt you." - shut the fuck up. Another reason why I utterly despise and dread spring/summer.

Title: Cleansing (ch. 19)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug, Doug/OC, Tom/OC
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, angst, self-abuse, language, dub-con (?)
Summary: After having killed a teen, Doug tries to comfort his partner. Neither had any idea of the harsh consequences that were to come from Tom merely doing his job.
A/N: Exactly one month since the last update! It's okay, because I brought an ass load for this chapter. A hook up between these two; finally, right?! :p

Link to chapter 18: here

( Chapter Nineteen )

Title: Slums pts. 1&2/2
Rating: R
Prompt: Loneliness
Pairings/Characters: Tom/OC, Doug, OC
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, rape, violence/disturbing imagery, language, character death
Summary: No one likes being alone in a storm.
A/N: Similar to "Blinded by the Thousand Points of Light." I guess it's AU, then. Tom's a prostitute. Doug's a rank up - detective. I didn't expect it to get so horrible at the end of the first part, but....just not a S.M. fic without a little nasty spin!
Thanks to rose_melody2 for looking over the first part for me!
Turned these both in to my Fiction Writing class teacher. I am sooo nervous....So, any critique from you guys would be wonderful. I'm thinking of putting it in my portfolio for the class.

( Lonely - pt. 1 )

( Recover - pt. 2 )

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

That's so true! At least, that I'd love to be in the film business and have people see my stuff. Anyone else think any of this is true of me?

Your Love is Represented by a Orange Rose

When you're in love, you tend to be overwhelmed and consumed by desire. You develop fascinations with people easily, and they're sometimes even borderline obsessions! You tend to come on strong. Your love is as hot as a flame.

Okay. That's freaky too because that's a pretty good description....

*Created with prompts and tables from 10_hurt_comfort

001.	Lust	002.	Love	003.	Leave Me Alone	004.	Don’t Hurt Me	005.	Moving
006.	Away/Leaving	007.	Take a Stand	008.	Change	009.	Alone	010.	Forbidden
011.	Hesitation	012.	Guilt	013.	First Time	014.	Stolen	015.	Snuggle
016.	Need	017.	Teased	018.	”Oh yes!”	019.	Heatwave	020.	Nose Bleed
021.	Headache	022.	Yearning	023.	Get out/Get out of here	024.	Remember	025.	Fragile
026.	Over	027.	Lost	028.	Captured/Trapped	029.	Crazy	030.	Craving
031.	Anniversary	032.	Ignored	033.	Trouble	034.	Wrong	035.	Illness
036.	Loss	037.	Abused	038.	”Stop!”	039.	Jealousy	040.	Stabbed/Shot
041.	Fight	042.	Dirty	043.	Ritual	044.	Just Say No	045.	Save Me
046.	Drama Queen	047.	Seeing You w/ New Eyes	048.	Screwed	049.	Struggle	050.	Reputation
051.	Ridicule	052.	Missing	053.	Blue	054.	Help	055.	Almost
056.	Betrayed	057.	Addiction	058.	Death	059.	Loneliness	060.	Wheelchair
061.	Broken	062.	Bad	063.	Drunk	064.	Let Me Go	065.	Escape
066.	Conflicted	067.	Impact	068.	Bored	069.	Crush	070.	Drugged
071.	Violation	072.	Humiliation	073.	Arrested	074.	Shame	075.	Confession
076.	Rejected	077.	Forgotten	078.	Overdose	079.	Broken Bone	080.	Flue/Cold
081.	Fever	082.	Regret	083.	Angel	084.	Hold Me	085.	Run
086.	Shattered	087.	Caught	088.	Blame	089.	Discovery	090.	Love Letter/Suicide Note/Goodbye
091.	Mine	092.	Prank	093.	Ice	094.	Suicide	095.	Mistake
096.	Initiation/Hazing	097.	Cheater	098.	Blizzard	099.	Back Injury	100.	Collapse/Fainting

Oh my god, you guys. I totally have a new favorite show. "1000 Ways to Die" on the SPIKE channel. Some of these are brutal! And all pretty stupid! What were these people thinking?! Shooting a hornet hive with a paint ball gun?! Idiot! Some of these though, they couldn't have helped it. Like a stray bullet. From a neighborhood a mile away. Bullet shot up in the air. You don't know that shit's coming!

Check it out. Definitely interesting and entertaining.

Going to post an entry with several prompt tables. If you want, I make no promises, leave a comment picking a word and pairing. :)

Thought I'd update. Can't believe spring break is almost over. Seems like I didn't do anything. Went up to Emporia on Monday to stay with Carly and David. That was fun. Spent a god awful amount of money while up there. 101 freaking dollars at Claire's?! Yeah. I was surprised too. I don't think I need anymore earrings anytime soon. Came back Thursday and have been bumming around the house since. Took yesterday off from work so I wouldn't have to do shit during break. It was nice not having to work Friday night.

Got a call from a person at Fidelity bank about my application I put in about two weeks ago or so. Maybe I'll be getting a new job! Working at a bank would be nice. Quiet atmosphere, not too hectic.

The only real big news/event that happened over break was Carly and David announcing they're gonna go ahead and get married. Next month. They had been engaged awhile ago, broke it off, then sort of got engaged again. Now, they just want to get married and done with. They're already living together, so I guess it won't change much. Except for figuring out whose family to visit on holidays, I guess. I knew it was coming, but didn't think it'd be so soon. They're just doing it at the courthouse; nothing big or special. Man, my sister is getting married, and I've never even had a real relationship. Is that pathetic or what? I feel so far behind.

Anyway. That's been my break. Haven't written anything cause I'm lazy.

Title: Cleansing (ch. 18)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug, Doug/OC, Tom/OC
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, angst, self-abuse, language
Summary: After having killed a teen, Doug tries to comfort his partner. Neither had any idea of the harsh consequences that were to come from Tom merely doing his job.
A/N: Lengthy one. Sorry for the slight wait. Got hard! Shit goes down in this chapter. haha. :) Fluffy moments don't last long!

Link to chapter 17: here

( Chapter Eighteen )

'Bout time I gave an update, huh? So much shit has gone down in the past few weeks, it doesn't even seem real. What happened last month seems like it just happened last week, or not even at all. It's already March, and I'm still not sure what I'll be doing after I graduate come May. I'm still working Friday nights at the theatre and having near-heat strokes. I have a low thyroid, and it makes me get so hot so quickly. It sucks. And at work, it just really brings me close to the point of throwing up or passing out. I'm standing there, sweating like a pig, and everyone else is just "It feels good to me" or "I'm cold!" I wish I could be cold!

I've been thinking about getting a new job though stay on Friday nights or something for the theatre - get me free movies still, haha. Our General Manager, Mike, who replaced Zack is just sort of a nightmare. He's mean. And I can't ever tell if he's just giving me a hard time or if he is actually getting on to me about something. He and Whitney are both bad about making me feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Yeah, I still make mistakes a bit, but Jesus! Don't talk to me like I'm clueless! I'll let you know if I am.

School is good. Busy and tough this semester, but good.

Now, for the big day of the year so far. February 17. There was a counter-protest to a Fred Phelps protest that was going on in Wichita at a high school, and I got Joanna and Audrey to go with me. We were all just supposed to counter-act them with preaching love instead of hate. I mean, you wouldn't believe some of the signs they had: "GOD HATES FAGS," "HELL IS REAL-JUST ASK MATTHEW," "YOU EAT YOUR KIDS," "AMERICA IS DOOMED," "THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS." It was harsh shit.
A lot of people showed up to it; I was surprised. More than what was at City Hall back in November. And it was fun! That felt like a real protest. Megaphones and all, cops walking around. Oh yeah. :)

So, after the protest, I needed to go to Senseney music store to get a couple of books for my voice lessons. I knew how to get there, that wasn't a problem. There was a bit of construction going on coming up to the intersection I needed to turn at shortly after exiting from the highway. Here's the story as I told it to initial_aitch just a few days after it happened:

( Crunch )

A day or so after I emailed Aitch, I found out I wouldn't have to pay $250. Insurance decided to scrap the car entirely instead. The $250 would just come out of what they thought the car was worth. After a couple of negotiations, we ended up getting $4036 for it. My dad and mom cleaned out all the shit in it since I had come back to Ark City. I think it was just a week later on Friday when they were going to tow it away from the collision lot it was at. I got back in Derby at about 2pm and swung by there to see if it was gone yet or not. At first, I thought it was because I couldn't see it through the fence, but as I turned back around, I saw it. Got out and walked along the gravel to it. It looked worse. It looked....sad. The horse on the front was gone (I have it), making it look really bare somehow, the hood was out of place - looked like they couldn't get it back on very well after looking under it to see what damage had been made. It looked more off balance since the passenger's side front tire was so exposed since the frame got busted in. I said goodbye to it - yes, I'm a sentimental freak - and got back into my grandpa's Buick I was being allowed to borrow for the weekend. I just sat there for awhile, looking at the Mustang through the fence and finally just burst into tears. That was going to be the last time I would see it, and I didn't want to remember it that way - all banged up and ruined. I've sort of blocked the image out of my mind to just remembering it to the night of the wreck.

I know nobody really understands, but it felt like I lost a family member. Even as I typed that sentence, I'm getting teary-eyed! It was my liberation, my ticket to wherever I wanted to go. And there's nothing like having the wind blowing your hair back into a mess with the top down; it's freeing. I'm trying to put it to rest inside of me and move on, and I'm starting to, but I don't want to forget it. As crazy as it sounds, I'm getting a tattoo of the Mustang emblem with "Mustang '94-'09" written under it. Commemorate it somehow. I don't fucking care what people say. That was my baby, my family, a memory that I don't want to forget about.

With the death of the Mustang, we found a red Pontiac Grand Am just last Sunday and bought it the next day with the insurance check and $1000 of my own money. It's a 2003, 4-door, and 70,000 miles on it. It's a really nice car. It's like a rocket ship compared to the Mustang, with all it's buttons and fancy accessories. Like windshield wiper fluid to wash the windshield, better wipers, a button to turn up the volume and another to go to presets of the radio on the steering wheel. CD and tape deck, automatic headlights, sunroof, a big ass trunk, and plenty of space. It rides a lot smoother and a lot quieter; with the Mustang's top, you could hear it rattling and the wind was really loud. Yeah, there are some great positives to it, but I still can't help but think "It's not the Mustang." We'll see if I can build a connection with this car. :)

Now that I've really talked more than anyone ever should, I'll wrap this up with pictures from the protest and of my beloved Mustang. It went out with a fight; it didn't just up and die one day. :)

( Pictures galore )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY initial_aitch!!!!

I was so sure today was the 28th, but it's not, so please forgive me for being a day late. XD

PARTY HARDY!