st_minority: Fandom

Whatsername (

st_minority) wrote,
@ 2008-01-13 00:50:00

Fandom
I'm growing tired of it. Just the whole...fandom thing. I love writing fanfic, don't get me wrong. And I don't mind that I don't get a lot of comments; a lot of my readers have dropped me or LJ completely. That's cool. But there's this ever present feeling that there are "ring leaders," or rather a certain number of people who have a "higher standing" in the realm. It's just kind of...sad to see that a new writer or someone not as well-known as say, someone who's been in the fandom for awhile hardly gets any feedback when another post could be filled with 20, 30 comments.

I keep thinking about leaving the POTC comms I'm in entirely; maybe I should finally do it and be done with it. If people want to read my stuff, they'll be able to find it. Just the other day, someone commented on a story I posted back in July, for god's sakes. People can find me, if they'd like. Maybe I should apply the advice I got for my job: quit before you end up hating it completely. Quit the comms. before I hate being a part of it.

Shit, what the hell do I do? Well, one thing I know for sure: I'll keep writing my ass off until there's nothing more to write. I've got 13 fics that are WIPs for POTC alone. It's not like I'm going to run out of material any time soon. Besides, I've got to keep writing fanfic; it's the only thing that'll keep me from blowing up all mankind. At least the people that piss me off.

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klear0bsession
2008-01-13 07:22 am UTC (link)

Aww, darling, I don't want to see you leave the fandom :( I love your stories. I try to comment, though I know I am guilty of missing some. Wraith is fantastic.

At the same time, I understand what you are saying. I've not done any art for a long time. Not only was I gone for a while, but the last thing I posted, something I said was unfinished received some really negative comments that put me off. It's been hard to even feel inspired since...even when I get an idea there is an "I can't do that" feeling now. You are right about the popular people as well. Not quite high school, but there are certainly some people that get a lot of attention.

Reguardless, I do hope you finish at least what you have started. I can't wait to read. And comment.

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st_minority
2008-01-14 12:53 am UTC (link)

Thanks for the little pep talk. ;) I still haven't made a decision. I guess the stuff at

jackwill now is what is pushing me to leave. It shouldn't be about commenting, and I don't think there should be rallying for them. In my mind, that's like thinking your work isn't good enough and you need to be told it is. I learned a long time ago to not expect comments, though it's always nice to get them. And I don't expect the people who do the stuff I comment on to comment on anything of mine in turn. And sure there's been a lack of action around that comm, but people get busy with life and other things; it's hard to keep up. Maybe it's just that little dip of inactivity for a while before things suddenly pick back up again.

When the Charlie and the Chocolate fandom was rocking, I really felt like that was a community. Everybody knew everybody. And there was never any bashing of characters or other people. With the POTC fandom, psh. I can't see any of those comms. actually being a "community." And quite frankly, some POTC people are rude. I wonder why I'm still around...

You receiving even one negative comment just blows my mind! All of your work is so gorgeous! That's a bummer. I'm sorry darling. I hope you squash that "I can't do that" feeling because I love your stuff! XD

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klear0bsession
2008-01-14 07:43 am UTC (link)

I do hope you'll give it some more thought, but ultimately you need to do whats right for you. I know what you are talking about with that community right now. I can not help but to get involved because I have felt like there are not enough fics showing up right now and I miss it. Thats is my selfish side. I don't want to see this fandom die because it means a lot to me. But as with me...things do come up. I was gone for several months. There was nothing I could do about it. Something came up in real life that was a opportunity I could not ignore, so I took it. It meant missing a lot...and I did survive. I know as time goes on more and more people will eventually wander away. I just hope to see activity while the fandom is still alive and kicking.

I was never part of the CatCF fandom. I was aware of it, and it did seem like a close knit community. I guess it would be nice to be involved in something that was so specific that everyone knew everyone else. I am glad you got to be a part of that.

Yeah...I got several negative comments. Most were from people that I had not had interaction with before... who probably never saw my other work. It still hurt though, and that is a hard thing to get past. Thats a large reason why I don't tend to write. I am not confident in my writing at all and that is so easy to see ripped to shreds. I don't think I am really ready for it. Maybe someday.

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st_minority
2008-01-16 04:28 am UTC (link)

I don't want to see the fandom die either. But I think it's the new year - people are going back to school and getting to work, which is why I don't think there's much action right now. Plus, there's no more movies to come out either, so there's not that exciting rush anymore. Maybe. You were certainly missed while you were gone. :D

It is hard to get past negative comments. They're such a bummer. And uncalled for - the ones that don't give any sort of critique, or the ones that are overly critique-ful. I've had some of both! XD But I do hope you'll give writing a chance!

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	lefemme 2008-01-13 08:18 am UTC (link)
	It's that everywhere you go on the internet dear, one person who's the 'supah-star' whether it's deserved or not, and the new people get treated like shit. I just don't like the F***ing back biting and manipulation games that some individuals feel they need to do to keep their so called "King of the Hill" spot. You got me, you know where to find me, come play. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	st_minority 2008-01-14 02:50 am UTC (link)
	It's a just a major bummer. And it's one person in particular that's getting on my nerves now as well. Just gets under the skin. It sucks that it is popularity and all that. :( XD I love ya! I know you're having fun! ;) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

lefemme
2008-01-14 03:20 am UTC (link)

I always discouraged the popularity game on my site, but of course since I was the web site owner, and chat moderator, you always get the people who want to test the limits of the rules, and how far and how clever they can be skirting around them. I even had mods that abused their powers that I had to fire... C'est la Vie!

But like I said, I've encountered this behavior everywhere I go. It's human nature to want to be somebody, and some people do it through less than honest means, some people do it through purely selfish and self centered reasons, and some people are completely uncaring, cold, or even evil. Some people don't know what they want, and they manipulate because they think it will make them happy. *heavy sigh*

I really don't know how to help you resolve this problem, it really sucks that you have to leave because you're fed up.

If I were you, I wouldn't leave, just keep plugging along at what you do, because you do have a few friends there who appreciate you. Ignore the critics and the "Kings" and just tell them to Piss off. You’ll know your time is done if you get banned.

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mysweetprince2
2008-01-13 11:10 am UTC (link)

hun, in reference to lefemme's comment, u have always been my supah-star. I would hate to see you leave as youre the only person whose stories i can read without getting bored with. Forget the others, your stories are the best. I dunno what else i can say, except please keep at it. Stuff those jerks, i know u dont get hundreds of comments but you're one of the few ppl who is actually like me n writes the same sorta stuff n enjoys it, plus you do it really damn well. *sniff* please dont leave the comms, the comms kinda suck neway, without u theyll just die XD xxx

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st_minority
2008-01-14 02:54 am UTC (link)

Well that's awfully nice of you to say! But if I did leave, you know where to find me. ;) And it's good to know that I haven't gotten boring! Whew!
I'm on the teeter-totter about this; I don't know what to do. Fuck! And for awhile, I was the only one posting stuff at

jackwill with all the god damn parts of "Wraith," and I hate feeling like I'm spamming the comm. And then people get sick of seeing it and won't read. I dunno. But god. You're so good to me. :D Thanks.

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	lefemme 2008-01-14 03:29 am UTC (link)
	In reference to the Comms starting to suck, I think LJ is becoming a broken toy. People are tightening up their circles of friends and retreating into their own 'worlds' if you will, because of all the 'bad element' out there, all the people who would criticize and do harm without even a thought. (Reply to this)(Parent)

spookyfbi
2008-01-13 02:46 pm UTC (link)

Really? I haven't seen a lot of that. I've seen new readers pop up every now and then, and if their stuff appeals to readers, people read it.

PS- Is this why I haven't been seeing much Wraith lately? I was expecting to have to catch up on loads of chapters when I got back! By the way, you have to know that Wraith is pretty much the only reason I've been going to the jackwill comm these days. You've got a very specific niche and not a whole lot of people are into these kinds of fics, but you do have an audience, small but loyal. And I never would have found Wraith if it wasn't on a comm. People who know you can find you, but what about people who don't?

Speaking of fics, I've been toying with the idea of Jack & Will not being together in the one I'm going to (when I eventually get motivated enough) write. I think it'd create more angst. Although that'd make the intro that I wrote a while back completely useless for this story line, but Oh well. Oh, and Random Badguy finally has a name! Leech. Maybe Fredrick Leech. And his wife's name might be Olivia or Sophia. Oh, and he's a compulsive gambler (among other traits that make him a rotten human being), and Olivia - yeah, I think I'll go with that - was from a wealthy family, and Jack & Will can escape by Jack making a bet with Leech which Leech loses. Yay, it's all coming together *claps hands* Oh, and I may have to do away with the Jack not talking idea cause I really want Jack to be mega stressed about a mutiny from his crew if they see any weakness in him. Anyway, that's more than enough about my fic...

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st_minority
2008-01-14 03:03 am UTC (link)

No, "Wraith" has taken a back seat to another WIP of mine that I recently got a fire under my ass to continue writing for. :) But I don't know if I want to post anymore "Wraith" because I felt like I was just spamming the comm. and people would get sick of seeing it. Aw, that's nice of you to say that you're going to jackwill for it! I do have the best audience. You guys are all too good to me. :) Always there to perk me up with a nice comment.

Oh yes! That fic you need to start on! ;) jk. Not together??! No! It certainly would create more angst - and heartbreak. I like the name for the bad guy - sounds nasty and will do him well. I think you've got some pretty good ideas to run with for it. XD You've been working hard! heehee

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spookyfbi
2008-01-14 04:44 am UTC (link)

H/C is my drug, and my condition is so far gone that my visit must be of the highest quality. Heh, watching The Libertine today. Anyway, I think the 'spaming the comm' felling has more to do with other people not writing as much than with you posting too much. If you look on there now, people are sort of complaining about the lack of fics and activity there at the moment.

"Not together" not "not in love". I still want it to be a Jack/Will fic.
Actually, I still kinda feel like I haven't done a whole lot, because none of this is written down. I'm still at the brainstorming stage of things, and for me that's the easy part. I have so many ideas in my head that never get written, so I don't really feel like I've started until i've got something on the page.

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st_minority
2008-01-15 04:22 am UTC (link)

I know. I don't really like that they're complaining about it. If they don't like that it's there's no fics being posted, they should try writing something! People will post in they're own time. And I don't think it has anything to do with people bashing on Will or something like that. There's 600 and some members there that love him; that's all that matters. What's going on over there right now is really bothering me. I don't know why. Bah, I sound bitter, don't I? lol

Oh, ok! Good. That'd be awful if they weren't in love!! :D
I know what you mean. But as long as you're thinking up stuff for it, that's progress! I hope you do put it to paper eventually; it's too good to go unwritten. ;)

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spookyfbi
2008-01-15 09:34 am UTC (link)

I don't think they're complaining about it in a whiny way, it's more of a 'what can we do to fix this' kind of way. They're trying to get people's creative juices going by starting meta discussions, they're trying to encourage peple to introduce themselves and get to know each other so they feel comfortable poisting their work. I actually think it's a great idea.
Know what might be a good idea? To make a comm for sick bitches like us who read & write torture. That way it'd be read by people who are interrested in that stuff. I dunno, that may not be a solution, but I'm just putting it out there...

Come on, you know me. If they're not in love, then where's the comfort gonna come from? But I do adore those "I love him but does he love me?" kinds of stories.
I'll start writing it just as soon as I figure out how to start it... among other things...

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st_minority
2008-01-15 09:47 am UTC (link)

I don't see how it makes people more comfortable to post. I feel like people don't like me anyway. (kind of happened in my other fandom, but that's died and I've reconciled) I feel that even if I were to post one to one of those "indtroduction" posts, they'd be like *snarky*, "Oh. There's that person." I used to feel pretty comfortable posting shit there, and a couple of little comms. I was a part of, but not now.

I actually do have a comm. for that! Two! One specifically for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory "dark" stuff, and one specifically for all of Depp's characters. That one's pretty damn small with not very many members, but it's still there! :) Granted, it has just been POTC and CATCF stuff posted so far, but whatev. :D

That is true. Where's that comfort? And those stories are cause for a lot of angst! And angst is fucking fantastic!
I wish you luck with it. XD

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spookyfbi
2008-01-15 10:29 am UTC (link)

What makes you think they don't like you? They may avoid your fics because it's not what they're into. People get squicked by different things.

Ooh, just took a look at darksidedepp. The formatting's kinda weird though, with the posts kinda squished up to the side. But there's some sweeney stuff too! 1 week & 2 days, this is killing me!

I heart angst! And thanks, I hope it all comes together.

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st_minority
2008-01-16 04:36 am UTC (link)

The way some people respond. And I think this is a lot to do with one person. And they don't tend to comment on anything of mine. I'm trying not to say too much about it because I don't want to offend and I've had shit blow up in my face in fandom before from stuff like this, so! :D I really don't want to go through that again.

My friend did the formatting for DSW like that, so I decided to keep it pretty much the same (save for the colors and pic on the side) since it's a sort of "sister" community. :D It's a funky weird.
Hold on! You can make it!!! One more week!!!

I've got a question on whether I should post a story to jackwill or not. (may be the last) I think I mentioned it to you before, but it's got a lot of Jack torture, and Will pops in only once in awhile in parts. They're not actually together (not romantically, but will be - kind of) until part 12. Should I post it or not? I posted it on pirategasm and got nothing, so should I even bother???

I think I'm going to write a PWP with Jack and Will.....

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spookyfbi
2008-01-16 06:45 am UTC (link)

If it's just a matter of them not commenting, it could just be because they're not into these kinds of stories. If they were leaving nasty coments or something, then that's different, but if you're not into something then not reading it is the best course of action, IMO.

I've been finding way too many spoilers for my own good recently. I hate doing this, but I hate not knowing as well! I just saw a clip on youtube where he's talking to, I think it's Beadle or whatever his name is. Oh My God, it's so slashable! The seductive way he says "Why don't you come upstairs, let me pamper you?" and "If you'll indulge me, sir. What is that exotic aroma?" Oh God!

Hmm... it's kinda hard to know without knowing the story. I don't think you have mentoned that one before (*ahem* link please :P). I suppose it depends on how big an aspect of the story the Jack/Will part is. I don't think they have to be together for it to be Jack/Will. If it has them, say, wanting each other but not thinking that they can have each other, or one yearning for the other or something like that, then it's still Jack/Will and I think could still be posted there. But if the Jack/Will part is only a small aspect of the story then maybe not. But hey, it never hurts to post it anyway, some people might be interested. Don't worry about the people who don't comment, worry about the people who do comment. I know you had 2 or 3 readers from jackwill commenting on Wraith.

*does happy Jack/Will PWP dance* Yep. Do it!

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st_minority
2008-01-16 10:19 pm UTC (link)

I didn't mean that I wanted them to comment or anything. I just meant that the person and I haven't really ever exchanged much in the way of comments, so it's more of a general observation I have whenever they make a post or whatever. It's like a vibe I get from this person that has nothing to do with me. I probably sound like I'm not making any sense! XD

Stop with those spoilers!! I'm telling you, it was sooo much better seeing it the first time because I had no idea what was going to happen and I didn't know what to expect. Especially at the end; I was so shocked. Stay away from them spoilers!! :D And oh Jesus Christ; I never thought of that as being slashy! But it totally works. ;) Oh god. A dirty image just came to my mind from that. Ewww! I had the idea that once they get up into the shop, they have sex in the chair (Sweeney "bottom" though it wouldn't actually be "bottom" since he'd be sitting on Beadle) and then slashes his throat. Ahh! Get it out! Get it out of my head!!! lol Though, imagining Sweeney caught up in pleasure is a nice image....

Ok. Here's the link to the first five parts: http://outlinedprompts.livejournal.com/17016.html#cutid1 The rest can be found there at the fic journal too - all the way up to 14. See, it focuses mostly on Jack, but cuts to Will and the crew every now and then as they're trying to make their way to rescue him. They don't actually interact together until part 12, but once they do get in contact, they're together a lot - eventually leading up to J/W sex - and are together until the end of the fic (when I actually write it. XD ) But it's got W/E as well. Could you maybe look it over and tell me if you think it'd be okay to post or not? I'm worried that people won't see that it's J/W because they aren't together until later on.

I did! It felt pretty good! And I finally didn't feel bad messing around with them! Jack actually got a break. :D

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13_lucky_charms
2008-01-13 04:43 pm UTC (link)

God yes, the one time I posted to pirategasm I got 3 comments and they were all confused about the story. What's so confusing about a story I wrote that my other friends understand? Is my Teague not up to par with your "ZOHMG PERFECT CHARACTERIZATION"

Gah, fandom does suck because of that but honestly it IS everywhere... Sadly. Just stick with it honestly and who gives a rat's ass if nobody likes it or comments onit if it makes you happy then continue to do it. (For the record I do read your fics, but I never comment on anything. ^.^;;)

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st_minority
2008-01-14 03:06 am UTC (link)

How can someone be confused with a story?!!! Gah! That's ridiculous. lol The one big trouble I had with people at pirategasm was over my "Sympathy" fic. God, that was ridiculous and stupid. And unneccessary!

I'll still continue writing; no doubt about that. But as for posting to places, I don't know. And I sometimes get this feeling that I'm like, spamming the comm. and people will get sick of seeing me or the story. (Oh! That's good to know! I'm glad you read! Awesome!)

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	reibish 2008-01-13 06:04 pm UTC (link)
	The whole "ring-leader" thing is EXACTLY why I left CatCF. I still write and do artsy things, just rather rarely. In the House and Labyrinth fandoms, things are a bit more even-handed. Do what you think you should do. I felt much better after I got out from under the CatCF fandom radar, and could enjoy the whole realm the way I wanted to. You might have a similar result. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	st_minority 2008-01-14 03:08 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, that was kind of a sucky situation. That fandom's pretty much died anyway. It makes me sad, but there it is. :( That's what I've been thinking too - that I'd enjoy it more. Not have all that bull shit that I feel. Damn it. I just don't know. But you're really making me ponder....:) (Reply to this)(Parent)

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...

theidolhands
2008-01-13 09:21 pm UTC (link)

You can always do the right thing even if others don't. You can keep your motives pure.

Try not to judge others too harshly or hate the "ring-leaders". I'm stuck with that concept or idea now because I sincerely loved the fandom and things about it. If it were up to me, I'd be friends with everyone, even people who are possibly leaving vague comments about me in other peoples journals. *cough* Yeah. I liked them too and with all we had in common, it would have been easy to be friends...or the exact same circumstances can create jealousy instead of opportunity. I joined everyone's groups. I enjoyed everyone's art work. I read everything I could, even work by new-commers. I left comments sometimes when no one else did. I learned a lot. I didn't mean for the movie to eat my brains. No other has.

And hey, you run two communities, maybe some people think of you that way. You've also have some damn popular stories. *smiles* See? It's perspective. People are people Minority, they are filled with ego and fears, every one of them including you and me. Fandom attracts people often who are struggling to fit into real life for one reason or another so they can be even more sensitive about these issues. I know, because I hurt tremendously. I know because you gave me a second chance past your first assumptions and I know the quality of your person too. If you have your heart in fandom, then it hurts. We're all human. We're all using our own personal experiences to guide us through.

And although I don't feel comfortable mentioning specifics in my journal any longer, I think we've also been judged based on the content of our stories (though that content usually differs), our subjects can make people uncomfortable.

In the hands of mankind, all things become tools to either empower or tear down. You can read the new-commers if that is really bothering you, you can encourage them and you can keep doing your thing; don't sockpuppet, don't play games. That's a waste of energy and looks dishonest. But if it's really wearing you down, if it's not more than perspective, then you do have the option to quit. It's a hobby. It should be fun. And you can't control other people, only yourself (if you're lucky *weak laugh*). In truth though, you can never run away from these elements of humanity.

Ah, if only we were mean, nasty jack-asses who could just laugh our asses off at this. Yeah, that'd be a riot. We could stand around like Mr. Burns and rub our hands.

Anyway, I'm sure a good night's sleep will do you a world of good. Good luck at school. Give the bitches an extra rub where they like it for me.

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Re: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...

mysweetprince2
2008-01-14 11:11 am UTC (link)

legendary comment, u really r a model citizen of the fandom world, i think everyone should respect eachother as writers, artists, or just friends within comms; the nature of such artwork/ fics is of personal interest to he/she who produces it, and is by no means sufficient reason to blank them, whatever said nature may be. like u for example (saw that one comin huh XD) i dont take much personal interest in the nature of ur fics, but u r one hell of a writer with enormas talent n n big brain (talk about flattery :D)
n hell, ur not hurting ne1 XD everyone on comms/fandoms/whatever is slightly screwy or atleast eccentric, we can admit that. So i think its only fair that we treat eachother equally, invite newbies in, in other words, keep the peace. peace man :P

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I'm sorry!!!! Have you forgiven me?? XD

st_minority
2008-01-15 04:15 am UTC (link)

I really try not to be bothered by it, and I thought it really was just me thinking that it is the way it is. I don't think any of them actually mean to come off that way - least, I'd hope not.

Gah! I don't know what to do! Do I leave? Just cut out all the comms. entirely? There's good and there's bad. I've got a small, loyal audience that comments on some of my things; what if they couldn't find my stuff if I stopped posting? Ahh! I'm so the most indecisive person you will ever meet. :)

I wish I did have more to say in response. This really did pick me up, though. :D Thank you. Fucking humanity. Yes! Let us be jack-asses!!! hahaa I think you have the ability to calm me down when I'm riled up about something such as this. I appreciate it. ;)

HAHAHA!!! I certainly will give those bitches a rub for you! They liiike it.

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exploding_candy
2008-01-14 02:49 pm UTC (link)

Eh, like any group of people, fandoms are cliques; as such, they're subject to the full array of clique dynamics. "Ringleaders", scapegoats, sycophants/brown-nosers, etc. It's been that way in pretty much every fandom I've participated in, though some to more extreme degrees than others. It's just group dynamics, but unfortunately it tends to lead to some real viciousness (when the "ringleader"'s ego gets bruised, or they decide they don't like someone, get ready for a witch hunt).

If the stress of those dynamics is getting to be too much for you (and I don't blame you at all), take a break from it. Continue writing for sure, but that doesn't mean you have to continue posting in an environment where you feel unwelcome and excluded.

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	st_minority 2008-01-15 04:17 am UTC (link)
	Man, it sucks that it has to be that way. It's fandom; everybody should feel welcomed and encouraged. But if you're not in that "clique," then it's hard to feel that way. I'm still all undecided about what to do. Hopefully it'll come to me. :) Thanks for the comment. XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

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