Title: Cleansing (ch. 11)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings/Characters: Tom/Doug, Doug/OC, Judy, Ioki, Booker
Disclaimer: I don't own 21 Jumpstreet, nor it's characters. All belong to Callen and peeps.
Warnings: M/M, slash, angst
Summary: After having killed a teen, Doug tries to comfort his partner. Neither had any idea of the harsh consequences that were to come from Tom merely doing his job.
A/N: Sorry for the wait. It just got a bit hard to write. Plus, I was off doing fluff for them. :D Not as long as the last chapter, I don't think, but ah well.

Link to chapter 10: here



Chapter Eleven

****
There was devastation and total humiliation shining through in his dark eyes, yet there was no begging present. He had given up a long time ago, asking for them to stop. He felt like a pathetic prostitute as they committed whatever depraved act they wished with his nude body.

It was only when his best friend crawled on top of him that his eyes pleaded for help. If anyone was to show compassion to him, it was this man. He smiled a little and reached up to brush his friend’s hair behind an ear. The moment he started to retract his hand, his wrist was powerfully gripped. The strength of the fingers seemed to be almost enough to crush his bones, and he emitted a whimper and gazed at the man with puzzlement.

“Doug, you’re hurting me,” he whispered fearfully. The statement only made the clutch tighter. “Doug. Please. Let go of me.”
“Sorry, Tommy,” Doug said with little sympathy in his voice. “I have to.”
“What? Why? Doug-”
“You need to stop talking unless I say you can.”
“Why are you being like this?” The question garnered him a fierce slap to the face. He let out a tiny sound of pain from the impact and the abrupt throbbing of his cheek.
“What did I just tell you?”
“I di-”
Doug struck Tom’s face again, this time with a clenched fist and twice. “Stop. Talking. Got it?”
With tears seeping from his eyes, Tom nodded.
“Good.” He let go of the younger man’s wrist and slid his hands along Tom’s stomach and chest. Tom drew in a quivering breath and tried to remain still under the unwanted contact. “I want to make you scream just for me, Tom. I want you to know just how good of a fuck you are.”
“Please don’t do this, Doug. Please stop.”

The older cop merely grinned deviously and roughly penetrated the man beneath him, earning the injured cry he so desired to hear.

**
Doug bolted upright with a gasp, eyes wide, and perspiration glinting on his skin. His breath came in heavy, uneven increments as he frantically looked around the room. It was his apartment. He was not there. Tom was not there. The person who was with him at the moment was the woman he had been sleeping with off and on for the past week and a half, Dianna. This time, he was rather overjoyed that he was seeing her and not thinking of him being the one beside him.

“Jesus,” he muttered, rubbing his face as if making sure he was awake.

He suddenly felt sick, and he clambered out of bed, made his way down to the main floor, and went to the kitchen sink to fill a glass with cold water. The liquid flowed down his throat quickly, and soon there was nothing left. When he set the cup on the counter, he noticed his hand was shaking.

“It was just a dream. It didn’t happen. Stop freaking out,” he scolded himself. But it did happen, at least the general part of it did. I didn’t hit him, but I sure as hell betrayed him. “Shut up. Stop thinking about it. But how do you stop thinking about the time you raped your best friend? Damn it.”

He downed another cup-full of water before retreating to the couch. Lazily, he flopped onto it, sighed, and stared at the ceiling. It was three-thirty in the morning, yet he was wide awake now.

At eight o’clock, after not falling back to sleep at all, he got up and hastily put on a pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt. He scribbled a note to his bed mate stating where he had gone and then headed out of the apartment.

****
Tom winced in pain and embarrassment as he hunched forward in order for his gown to be unlaced. He clutched the teddy bear tightly to him, seeking comfort from embracing something. The fabric was parted to reveal his flawed back, and Dr. Landen lightly gripped his shoulder as he positioned a long needle at the base of Tom’s spine.

“Breathe in and let it out slowly,” he instructed the young man.

Tom obeyed; as he released the deep breath, the sharp object penetrated his skin and sank farther in. A quiet whimper sounded from him as the shot was administered to him. He closed his eyes and strengthened his hold on the stuffed animal in his arms.

“There,” Landen said after several seconds. “All done with that. It should start taking effect in about ten minutes. The numbness will last for a few hours.”
Tom nodded even though he was not quite paying attention to the words.

Out in the hallway, Doug watched his partner begin to breathe in and out repeatedly as the physician placed his stethoscope to numerous spots on Tom’s chest and back. It was just one at first, making him believe he had simply pictured it himself, but when a couple more slid down his face, Doug knew his partner was crying. He had a hunch that it was due to Tom feeling exposed like he had been for his tormentors.

After a minute or so, Dr. Landen tied the laces on the back of the gown and helped Tom lie down before leaving the room. He stopped at the sight of Doug and extended his hand to greet him.

“Good to see you, Doug,” he stated kindly. “I haven’t seen you around lately.”
“Yeah, I’ve been busy….with work. How is he?”
“Not great, but not terrible either. He’s….okay to put it simply. He’ll have to go into surgery again to do more repairs to his skull, and we’ll have to do the same for his feet and knee again. The wrist also worries me because he hasn’t been able to move a finger even the tiniest bit.”
“What does that mean?”
“That part of him could be paralyzed. With such blows to the head, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for the nerves to have gotten messed up and not receive impulse signals from the brain. He’ll need a few more surgeries on it, I’m sure.”
“Jesus….How long will it be before he can go home?”
“Not for awhile. A month at the least, I believe.” A beeping sound went off, causing him to glance down at the small device clipped to his belt. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. Why don’t you go in and visit him? He’ll be getting a bit drowsy, though I think he’d like the company.”
“Yeah. I probably will.”
“Nice talking to you, Doug.”
“You too.”

Doug returned his gaze to peer through the window at Tom, who was gently wiping away the tears on his face. There was an intense yearning to go in and be at Hanson’s side, but Doug’s anxiety of confrontation got the better of him. He remained where he was and merely observed Hanson for almost thirty minutes. The young man had fallen asleep in that time, his left arm still slung across the bear to keep it to him. Doug smiled at this and let out a small laugh. The image was simply too cute not to.

Hanson shifted to lie more on his right side, and the bear slipped from his embrace to the floor as he did so. The initial reaction for Doug was to go in and pick it up, yet he hesitated over whether or not he should. After a short while, he got over his uneasiness about Tom possibly waking up to find him, and he finally opened the door, shut it silently behind him, and made his way to the hospital bed.

“Hi, Tom,” he whispered almost inaudibly. “Just thought I’d make sure you have this with you.”

He bent down and picked it up, giving it a light dusting before delicately lifting Tom’s left arm and carefully nestling the stuffed animal in the crook between his right arm and chest.

“There,” Doug breathed as he draped Hanson’s left arm back over the bear. The action garnered a quiet sigh from Hanson, and Doug’s heart sped nervously in fear of his partner opening his eyes. Hanson did not wake, however, to which Doug was thoroughly grateful for. “Sleep well, baby.”

He brushed the few strands of hair covering a bit of Tom’s face back and leaned down to place a kiss on the young man’s forehead. His fingers caressed the spot where his lips had been and he murmured, “I love you, Tom.”

Not long after he was exiting the hospital completely.

****
“We caught those two, Travis and Derick.”
Hanson did not seem thrilled at the news. In fact, he hardly showed any sot of reaction. “Great,” he said dryly.
“There were two more, right?” Judy asked.
“Yeah. Bet you won’t get them.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I don’t know what they look like, I don’t know their names, and I doubt any of the three in custody will narc on their accomplices. Just as good,” he ended by mumbling to himself.
“You don’t know that.”
“Doesn’t matter. They can all go free for all I care.”
“Now why would you think like that?”
“Because they’ll be let go sometime and come after me again. Least I’d be somewhat prepared for them by knowing exactly when they are released instead of worrying and dreading over when they actually do get out – sooner than later and all that, right?”
Judy gazed at him for a moment, noticing how he kept focusing his attention on his left hand. “The judge is allowing the hearing to be after you’re doing better,” she finally said. “Until then, they’re being held in a juvenile detention center.”
“Wonderful,” he muttered. There was a brief pause before he spoke again, this time with a hint of tentativeness in his voice. “Hey, Judy?”
“Yeah?”
“Does Doug hate me?”
“No!” she answered, sounding surprised at the question. “Of course not. Why?”
“I haven’t seen him in so long. He hasn’t come here….I miss him,” he added softly.
“I don’t know why he hasn’t been by to see you, but it’s certainly not because he hates you. He misses you too, I’m sure of it.”
“Can you write down his number for me? Maybe I can call him.”
“Sure. Perhaps you can get through to him.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s been so….closed off from everyone. And seemingly self-destructive. From what I’ve seen, he’s started drinking a lot and lingering around with a different woman almost every night.”
“He….He is?” Tom swallowed, trying to smother the abrupt, rampant feelings of jealousy, hurt, and concern.
“He’s just taking all of this pretty hard. He was a total wreck when you were missing; he hasn’t gotten out of it yet.”

Tom hugged his bear to him, rested his chin on its head, and closed his eyes. He let out a sigh before opening them to look around the room and at the window near the door. Neither he nor Judy had noticed that Doug had been standing there out in the hallway, observing them, before walking away just seconds before Tom’s eyes glanced in his direction.

****
The feeling of Christmas was coming to a peak, and Hanson finally discovered what the date was when Dr. Landen came into the room to tell him he would not be on duty the next day due to it being Christmas. Along with that little piece of news, he was informed that he would be having surgery again within the upcoming days, the first operation being on his knee.

For the majority of the day, he spent his time dozing off while watching the television; sleeping and flipping through channels were the only two ways he could get his mind off of the pain whenever the medication started wearing off.

Snow had been falling outside, making a winter wonderland, and apparently, it was still snowing that night when Judy, Fuller, Ioki, and Booker came into the room with white flakes in their hair and on their coats. The sight of them brought a sincerely surprised and delighted smile to his face. They greeted him warmly as they dragged chairs to the side of the bed to sit; Judy took a spot at the foot of the bed on Tom’s left side, being cautious to not make contact with the young man’s bandaged and braced appendages.

“What are you guys doing here?” he asked brightly.
“We couldn’t let you be alone on Christmas Eve,” Ioki answered kindly.
“And you, Booker?”
Dennis shrugged. “They made me come.” He gave Hanson a small grin, making the younger cop smile all the more.
“Well thank you. All of you.” Tom glanced around before questioning, “Where’s Doug?”
Ioki was about to answer, but Judy beat him to it. “He wanted to be here,” she lied, not really knowing what Doug wanted to be doing. “He just….went out of town with his girlfriend.” She cast a warning glance to the three others to not correct or contradict her.
“Oh. Right. Of course,” he mumbled to himself.
“Hey!” she said enthusiastically to lighten the sudden dreary mood. “We got you something.”

Ioki handed her a wrapped package, and she set it on Hanson’s lap. It was not too big or too heavy, and it seemed to be wrapped in a way that would be easy for him to tear the paper off, but he found it difficult nonetheless when he started to try with his good hand. She offered her assistance, and soon, the colored wrapping was on the floor. He pried off the lid of the box and pushed aside tissue paper to reveal the gift underneath. When he saw it, he felt tears forming in his eyes, and he let out a quiet laugh as he removed the item. It was a stunning silver picture frame, and behind the glass, there was a photo that had been taken at the party the Jump Street team had put together for his twenty-second birthday last year. They were all standing huddled together, each of them with a bottle of beer in hand except for Doug and Tom. Doug was in the center, holding Tom lengthwise across his torso. The six of them had been laughing when the picture was taken, resulting in every one of them grinning joyfully.

Tom gently pressed his fingers to the glass, closed his eyes, and thought back to the captured moment. For the first time in what seemed like months, he felt extraordinarily happy and his usual self. The horrible memories had gone away for the time being, letting him truly enjoy the moment with his friends surrounding him.

“Wow,” he said in a choked voice, a tear falling from his eye. “I remember that so well.” He looked up to gaze at the group, extreme gratefulness and appreciation written on his face. “Thank you. I love it. It’s perfect. Thank you….I….I wish I had something to give you guys.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Hanson,” Ioki stated casually. “We’re all just glad you’re even alive.”
“And that you’re doing better,” Fuller added with a nod to Tom, filling the young officer with subdued joy.
“Well, we didn’t come here just to exchange pleasantries,” Booker interjected. “Let’s drink.”

He presented a bottle of red wine and one of cider. Judy pulled out plastic cups from her large purse and handed them to each person. She and Tom had cider, while the other three had the sangria. Fuller gave a traditional toast, and as he spoke, Tom merely gazed at his colleagues with adoration. This was, in his mind, one of the most extraordinary Christmases he had ever had.

A couple of hours later, the four guests left, each giving him an affectionate hug before departing. Once they were gone, Tom rested back, carefully nestling himself in a comfortable position to lie in. He still had the picture in his hand, and he looked at it for quite some time, simply smiling and reminiscing. It took him several minutes to realize his finger was continually stroking Doug’s face through the glass. Even though he felt quite coy for doing so, he could not stop himself. There was such a strong desire to truly, physically touch his best friend that it frightened him somewhat.

He swallowed a knot in his throat and whispered, “Merry Christmas, Dougie. I….”

Despite no one being present in the room, he became utterly embarrassed at what he was doing and saying. He set the frame on the table close by and turned it to where he could see it clearly. For a couple of hours, he laid awake, switching between staring at the ceiling and staring out the window to watch the snow falling.

“Merry Christmas, Tommy!” Doug voiced energetically the moment Hanson walked into the chapel.
“It’s not even Christmas day yet.”
“So? You really need to get in the holiday mood, man.”
“I am, just….” He took note of the Santa hat Doug was wearing and laughed. “-Not as much as you, apparently."
“What are you doing for it? Anything special? Leaving town?”
“Going over to my mom’s for dinner. That’s about as special as it gets. How about you?”
The older man shrugged, and for a second, the cheerfulness dwindled. “I don’t know yet. Haven’t made any plans.”
“Hey, um….You could go with me, if you want. I’d really like it if you did; it’d be nice to be with a good friend on Christmas, you know?”
“Really? I don’t want to impose on your mom.”
“You won’t be. I’m sure she’d like more company too other than my weird uncles and aunt.”
“Sure. I’d love to go. Thanks, man. Oh look! Perfect timing for it, isn’t it? Perfect way to say thank you.”

Before Tom could glance at what had caught Doug’s attention, the older cop was kissing him tenderly. He stiffened from the abrupt action, but quickly realized that if he did not loosen up and respond, Doug would keep his lips against his. Hesitantly, Tom opened his mouth and submitted calmly to his friend. The kiss only lasted a minute or so, yet it seemed much longer in his mind. Doug pulled away, grinning a bit timidly, and shook the mistletoe that he was holding above Tom’s head.

“Tradition,” he said matter-of-factly in order to explain why he had just attacked the younger man’s mouth.
“Yeah, tradition,” Tom echoed faintly. Maybe we should hang around mistletoe more often, he thought, though he dared not say it.

Tom closed his eyes and slipped into sleep, a little smile gracing his countenance as he went on dreaming about his partner.